Post by newwwwusername on Nov 14, 2023 2:18:44 GMT
Title from : Being Alive from Company
Chronology : Post-Movie 2
Pairings : Clawdeen & Frankie, Frankie & Draculaura, Clawdeen/Draculaura
Headcanons : Aroace!Frankie, Autistic!Frankie
The more Frankie came to understand how the people around them worked and operated, the more they realized that sex and romance took up a lot of space.
Everyone was constantly dating and breaking up and questioning if they'd caught feelings for their best friends and then panicking if they had. They asked themself this same question. Did they like any of their friends? Well, sure, they loved their friends. They didn't know what they'd do without Clawdeen or Draculaura or, hell, even Cleo.
But they just didn't have that spark (pun intended) that people talked about and, when they tried to imagine themself in a romantic relationship with any of them, the thought was deeply uncomfortable.
Just as they had with their gender, they were quickly able to find a label that they could proudly tell people about. Aroace. The lack of romantic and sexual attraction. That certainly described what they were feeling, front to back.
They were relieved once they figured it out. There wasn't anything wrong with them, they were just wired a bit differently (pun once again intended) than everyone else was. That was plenty okay and nothing they weren't used to at that point, what with their gender and lack of ability to pick up social cues.
It didn't take too much longer for that to begin to feel a fair bit isolating, though. See, their awareness of how much these things mattered to society as a whole also came along with the awareness that most people did not value their friendships as deeply as they did, or at least saw it as second to their romantic relationships.
There were different parameters when it came to how you saw and treated your friends. It wasn't generally seen as acceptable to kiss your friends or to cuddle with them for prolonged periods of time. That was something you did with your non-platonic partner.
They supposed it made an ounce of sense- Not the base premise, they thought that was stupid, but the fact that this was generally what people thought. It wasn't too different from all of the other unspoken rules that everyone but them seemed to get. So, they respected this much and was sure not to cross any of those boundaries with their friends, even if they felt worse and worse as time went on.
Touch starvation was when somebody doesn't receive enough physical touch and can have a long string of negative effects. They began to realize that they had stumbled into a situation where they were extremely touch-starved due to their inability to consistently touch others due to the fact that they weren't in a relationship due to the fact that they were aroace.
This was starting to get rather inconvenient.
They started to notice the growing distance between themself and their two best friends, because those two best friends were getting closer with each other. They knew it was over when they accidentally walked on the pair kissing. Hell, they knew it was over when Clawdeen called Draculaura her best friend instead of them even though they were her friend first.
They were happy for their friends. Honestly, they were. The two seemed very happy together and they never wanted to step on that. However, their touch starvation and loneliness got especially bad after those two got together, as the already pretty rigid rules of 'this is how you behave around your friends' became even more rigid. The already rare hug became even more rare and they began to try and find solutions to their issue because clearly what they were doing wasn't working.
Very early in their research, they stumbled across the premise of queerplatonic relationships and, in theory, that sounded amazing. You got all the benefits of being in a romantic relationship (like the physical affection and the understanding that you get to be that person's first choice to hang out with) but without any of the romantic feelings attached.
However, they quickly realized that was not attainable for them. They didn't know any other aromantic people and, sure, it wasn't an exclusively aromantic concept but they understood that the vast majority of alloromantic people wouldn't go for it because then they'd just expect it to be like a romantic relationship, which they knew all too well they couldn't provide.
So, they began to look for solutions specific to the issue of their touch starvation. After all, they couldn't exactly change their orientation, nor did they have any interest in faking it because that would just be unfair to any romantic partner they acquired.
One of the tips they consistently found online was to sleep with a stuffed animal, so they began to do just that. It was supposed to help simulate the feeling of a hug or at least having someone close to you. It sort of worked, but not that well and they ultimately found that it just made them more sad than anything because they were acutely aware of the fact that they were using a stuffed animal to try and fix their touch starvation because they couldn't just cuddle with an actual person.
They still slept with it, though.
They hadn't realized that their recent sadness had become apparent to their friends. Truthfully, they'd been trying very hard to still seem content. They knew that no one would really, truly understand the type of isolation they were feeling and they also didn't want any of their friends to feel guilty, because it wasn't their fault.
Alas, they must've had a noticeable drop, despite their best efforts, because Clawdeen eventually got concerned enough to ask them about it, and that's when the floodgates opened.
"What's been going on with you recently, Frankie?" the half-human asked one evening. Frankie looked at her in surprise, because they had not been expecting that question. "And don't say it's nothing because I know you, and I can tell when something is wrong"
"It's silly" Frankie dismissed. This, however, did not have the intended effect of getting Clawdeen to drop it. If anything, it just made the girl more confused because Frankie was many things but they were never shy about expressing their feelings.
"I promise you it's not" Clawdeen reassured them, reaching out and holding their hands. Normally they didn't care much for touch if they weren't the one initiating it (which definitely was not helping with their touch starvation issue, but that's just how they were), but the feeling was just so nice that they had to resist the urge to hold the girl's hands so tight that they cut off her circulation. "What's going on?"
"...Do you remember how I told you I'm aroace?" they asked, getting a confused but honest nod in response. "Okay, so, I definitely am and I'm proud about that, but it's been really hard recently"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, there's all these rules that people have and, as much as I don't understand them or get them first try, I'm really good at picking up on them and I have become acutely aware of the rules in our society about touch"
"Okay"
"And I love hugs and whatnot, at least when I'm the one initiating them, but there's all these rules about what is and isn't acceptable when it comes to your platonic relationships" they explained. "Like, you can hug your friends but not for too long or that's weird. And you can't kiss your friends at all, which is okay. But you can't cuddle your friends for very long, and not at all if they're in a relationship, and-"
"Is this about me and Draculaura?" Clawdeen asked. Frankie sighed.
"It's not... Just you guys, but that definitely has made my issue... Worse" they admitted. "But I didn't want to say anything because I didn't want it to seem like I was mad at you guys or jealous or anything- Which, I'm not, to be clear. This is entirely a me problem, not a you guys problem, and I'm honestly really happy for you guys" they explained. "It's just been a bit difficult because now the rules are different and I'm... Touch-starved"
They didn't see it coming because they had closed their eyes out of fear of seeing Clawdeen's reaction, but they suddenly felt her arms being wrapped around them and went completely still. Misinterpreting the situation, Clawdeen quickly retracted her hug and they felt as though someone had just dumped a bucket of ice water over them, but they tried not to let that show on their face.
"Sorry" Clawdeen apologized. "Sorry, I know you just said you prefer to be the one initiating touch, and I also didn't even ask first. I'm so sorry" she went on. Frankie felt like they were being stabbed but maintained a level expression and tried not to take it too personally. But, goodness, that hug had been nice.
"It's okay" they said with a weak. Clawdeen frowned which only made them feel worse because not only did the touch starvation feel worse than it ever had, but they'd also missed some sort of social cue because Clawdeen wasn't supposed to be frowning at them but she was and they didn't know why.
"How do I help you, Frankie?"
"...Well, the hug was nice" they told her, avoiding her gaze. They knew that, no matter what they said, nothing would actually fix the way they felt because the true solution was unattainable and everything else was on the brink of being completely socially unacceptable. Never before had they loathed a part of their identity, but they were starting to really hate this. "It's okay, though. It's not your problem. None of it is your problem. This is just... Something I have to deal with on my own"
"You don't, though" Clawdeen insisted. "You said the hug was nice. Do you want another hug?"
"It's not just one hug though, is it?" Frankie asked rhetorically. "It's this long term problem that I can't fix, and-"
They were being hugged again, tighter this time. Clawdeen didn't pull away when they instinctively tensed up for a moment, and they allowed themself to relax into the touch. This was all they'd wanted, really. That horrible burning receded like water lapping on the shore of a beach and they suddenly were able to breathe fully again.
"I'll hug you more" Clawdeen promised, eventually pulling away. "And I give you full permission to be as clingy with me as you want" she added. It was a nice thought, being able to just hug and cuddle up to their friend whenever they wanted without all of the doubt and shame surrounding it, but it surely couldn't be that simple.
"What about Draculaura?"
"I'll talk to her about it" Clawdeen promised. "But I assure you she's not gonna be offended by me making sure our mutual best friend who doesn't even feel that kind of attraction feels loved" she went on. Frankie managed a small smile. "Because you are, Frankie. You are loved"
"I love you too" they replied. Clawdeen smiled and hugged them again for a moment. The bell rang just then, marking curfew, and Draculaura walked through the door a few seconds later.
"Hey, babe" Clawdeen greeted with a kiss. Frankie decided to distract themself with a Rubix cube they'd been gifted. They solves it instantly and began resetting it to pass the time. "Can we chat about something?"
"Yes, always" Draculaura replied, sitting next to her girlfriend on the bed and listening intently as Clawdeen explained the situation in a hushed whisper. The two communicated through whispers for a few more minutes before Frankie heard the sound of someone standing up off the bed and a pair of heels coming their way. They looked up just in time to see Draculaura coming to hug them.
Oh.
"Uh, thank you" Frankie said awkwardly at the sudden touch, giving Draculaura a small tap on the shoulder to indicate they wanted their freedom again. "You don't have to do that, you know"
"I want to" Draculaura replied with a slick smile. "So deal with it"
"Okay"
Chronology : Post-Movie 2
Pairings : Clawdeen & Frankie, Frankie & Draculaura, Clawdeen/Draculaura
Headcanons : Aroace!Frankie, Autistic!Frankie
The more Frankie came to understand how the people around them worked and operated, the more they realized that sex and romance took up a lot of space.
Everyone was constantly dating and breaking up and questioning if they'd caught feelings for their best friends and then panicking if they had. They asked themself this same question. Did they like any of their friends? Well, sure, they loved their friends. They didn't know what they'd do without Clawdeen or Draculaura or, hell, even Cleo.
But they just didn't have that spark (pun intended) that people talked about and, when they tried to imagine themself in a romantic relationship with any of them, the thought was deeply uncomfortable.
Just as they had with their gender, they were quickly able to find a label that they could proudly tell people about. Aroace. The lack of romantic and sexual attraction. That certainly described what they were feeling, front to back.
They were relieved once they figured it out. There wasn't anything wrong with them, they were just wired a bit differently (pun once again intended) than everyone else was. That was plenty okay and nothing they weren't used to at that point, what with their gender and lack of ability to pick up social cues.
It didn't take too much longer for that to begin to feel a fair bit isolating, though. See, their awareness of how much these things mattered to society as a whole also came along with the awareness that most people did not value their friendships as deeply as they did, or at least saw it as second to their romantic relationships.
There were different parameters when it came to how you saw and treated your friends. It wasn't generally seen as acceptable to kiss your friends or to cuddle with them for prolonged periods of time. That was something you did with your non-platonic partner.
They supposed it made an ounce of sense- Not the base premise, they thought that was stupid, but the fact that this was generally what people thought. It wasn't too different from all of the other unspoken rules that everyone but them seemed to get. So, they respected this much and was sure not to cross any of those boundaries with their friends, even if they felt worse and worse as time went on.
Touch starvation was when somebody doesn't receive enough physical touch and can have a long string of negative effects. They began to realize that they had stumbled into a situation where they were extremely touch-starved due to their inability to consistently touch others due to the fact that they weren't in a relationship due to the fact that they were aroace.
This was starting to get rather inconvenient.
They started to notice the growing distance between themself and their two best friends, because those two best friends were getting closer with each other. They knew it was over when they accidentally walked on the pair kissing. Hell, they knew it was over when Clawdeen called Draculaura her best friend instead of them even though they were her friend first.
They were happy for their friends. Honestly, they were. The two seemed very happy together and they never wanted to step on that. However, their touch starvation and loneliness got especially bad after those two got together, as the already pretty rigid rules of 'this is how you behave around your friends' became even more rigid. The already rare hug became even more rare and they began to try and find solutions to their issue because clearly what they were doing wasn't working.
Very early in their research, they stumbled across the premise of queerplatonic relationships and, in theory, that sounded amazing. You got all the benefits of being in a romantic relationship (like the physical affection and the understanding that you get to be that person's first choice to hang out with) but without any of the romantic feelings attached.
However, they quickly realized that was not attainable for them. They didn't know any other aromantic people and, sure, it wasn't an exclusively aromantic concept but they understood that the vast majority of alloromantic people wouldn't go for it because then they'd just expect it to be like a romantic relationship, which they knew all too well they couldn't provide.
So, they began to look for solutions specific to the issue of their touch starvation. After all, they couldn't exactly change their orientation, nor did they have any interest in faking it because that would just be unfair to any romantic partner they acquired.
One of the tips they consistently found online was to sleep with a stuffed animal, so they began to do just that. It was supposed to help simulate the feeling of a hug or at least having someone close to you. It sort of worked, but not that well and they ultimately found that it just made them more sad than anything because they were acutely aware of the fact that they were using a stuffed animal to try and fix their touch starvation because they couldn't just cuddle with an actual person.
They still slept with it, though.
They hadn't realized that their recent sadness had become apparent to their friends. Truthfully, they'd been trying very hard to still seem content. They knew that no one would really, truly understand the type of isolation they were feeling and they also didn't want any of their friends to feel guilty, because it wasn't their fault.
Alas, they must've had a noticeable drop, despite their best efforts, because Clawdeen eventually got concerned enough to ask them about it, and that's when the floodgates opened.
"What's been going on with you recently, Frankie?" the half-human asked one evening. Frankie looked at her in surprise, because they had not been expecting that question. "And don't say it's nothing because I know you, and I can tell when something is wrong"
"It's silly" Frankie dismissed. This, however, did not have the intended effect of getting Clawdeen to drop it. If anything, it just made the girl more confused because Frankie was many things but they were never shy about expressing their feelings.
"I promise you it's not" Clawdeen reassured them, reaching out and holding their hands. Normally they didn't care much for touch if they weren't the one initiating it (which definitely was not helping with their touch starvation issue, but that's just how they were), but the feeling was just so nice that they had to resist the urge to hold the girl's hands so tight that they cut off her circulation. "What's going on?"
"...Do you remember how I told you I'm aroace?" they asked, getting a confused but honest nod in response. "Okay, so, I definitely am and I'm proud about that, but it's been really hard recently"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, there's all these rules that people have and, as much as I don't understand them or get them first try, I'm really good at picking up on them and I have become acutely aware of the rules in our society about touch"
"Okay"
"And I love hugs and whatnot, at least when I'm the one initiating them, but there's all these rules about what is and isn't acceptable when it comes to your platonic relationships" they explained. "Like, you can hug your friends but not for too long or that's weird. And you can't kiss your friends at all, which is okay. But you can't cuddle your friends for very long, and not at all if they're in a relationship, and-"
"Is this about me and Draculaura?" Clawdeen asked. Frankie sighed.
"It's not... Just you guys, but that definitely has made my issue... Worse" they admitted. "But I didn't want to say anything because I didn't want it to seem like I was mad at you guys or jealous or anything- Which, I'm not, to be clear. This is entirely a me problem, not a you guys problem, and I'm honestly really happy for you guys" they explained. "It's just been a bit difficult because now the rules are different and I'm... Touch-starved"
They didn't see it coming because they had closed their eyes out of fear of seeing Clawdeen's reaction, but they suddenly felt her arms being wrapped around them and went completely still. Misinterpreting the situation, Clawdeen quickly retracted her hug and they felt as though someone had just dumped a bucket of ice water over them, but they tried not to let that show on their face.
"Sorry" Clawdeen apologized. "Sorry, I know you just said you prefer to be the one initiating touch, and I also didn't even ask first. I'm so sorry" she went on. Frankie felt like they were being stabbed but maintained a level expression and tried not to take it too personally. But, goodness, that hug had been nice.
"It's okay" they said with a weak. Clawdeen frowned which only made them feel worse because not only did the touch starvation feel worse than it ever had, but they'd also missed some sort of social cue because Clawdeen wasn't supposed to be frowning at them but she was and they didn't know why.
"How do I help you, Frankie?"
"...Well, the hug was nice" they told her, avoiding her gaze. They knew that, no matter what they said, nothing would actually fix the way they felt because the true solution was unattainable and everything else was on the brink of being completely socially unacceptable. Never before had they loathed a part of their identity, but they were starting to really hate this. "It's okay, though. It's not your problem. None of it is your problem. This is just... Something I have to deal with on my own"
"You don't, though" Clawdeen insisted. "You said the hug was nice. Do you want another hug?"
"It's not just one hug though, is it?" Frankie asked rhetorically. "It's this long term problem that I can't fix, and-"
They were being hugged again, tighter this time. Clawdeen didn't pull away when they instinctively tensed up for a moment, and they allowed themself to relax into the touch. This was all they'd wanted, really. That horrible burning receded like water lapping on the shore of a beach and they suddenly were able to breathe fully again.
"I'll hug you more" Clawdeen promised, eventually pulling away. "And I give you full permission to be as clingy with me as you want" she added. It was a nice thought, being able to just hug and cuddle up to their friend whenever they wanted without all of the doubt and shame surrounding it, but it surely couldn't be that simple.
"What about Draculaura?"
"I'll talk to her about it" Clawdeen promised. "But I assure you she's not gonna be offended by me making sure our mutual best friend who doesn't even feel that kind of attraction feels loved" she went on. Frankie managed a small smile. "Because you are, Frankie. You are loved"
"I love you too" they replied. Clawdeen smiled and hugged them again for a moment. The bell rang just then, marking curfew, and Draculaura walked through the door a few seconds later.
"Hey, babe" Clawdeen greeted with a kiss. Frankie decided to distract themself with a Rubix cube they'd been gifted. They solves it instantly and began resetting it to pass the time. "Can we chat about something?"
"Yes, always" Draculaura replied, sitting next to her girlfriend on the bed and listening intently as Clawdeen explained the situation in a hushed whisper. The two communicated through whispers for a few more minutes before Frankie heard the sound of someone standing up off the bed and a pair of heels coming their way. They looked up just in time to see Draculaura coming to hug them.
Oh.
"Uh, thank you" Frankie said awkwardly at the sudden touch, giving Draculaura a small tap on the shoulder to indicate they wanted their freedom again. "You don't have to do that, you know"
"I want to" Draculaura replied with a slick smile. "So deal with it"
"Okay"