Post by newwwwusername on Dec 17, 2023 20:31:43 GMT
Full title on AO3 : I Didn't Earn the Right to Eat this Food
Chronology : Pre-TPTGW
Relationships : Annie & Dennis, Trevor & Dennis, Dennis & Stagehands
Headcanons : Dennis has an eating disorder, Nonbinary!Annie
Author's note : His eating disorder here does not stem from body image issues or even a control thing. It mainly stems from trauma and general guilt about not being enough
The Society was preparing a short, one-act play just to share with the community. Dennis had decided not to join in on this one. They didn't need him for the cast size and he was also very focused on his part in A Murder at Haversham Manor, so he just stayed out of it.
He would still attend some of the rehearsals, though, just to see how the one-act was coming along and give the occasional bit of feedback as an observer, which the Society was grateful for because they rarely got that because typically everyone in the Society was in whatever they were working on. Relatively unbiased opinions were hard to come by because of this.
One of these particular rehearsals, about midway through, they took a break and everyone suddenly ran backstage in a hurry, which was strange. Dennis looked over at Trevor, who was directing the one-act (since Chris was busy with A Murder at Haversham Manor), hoping for an explanation.
"Annie bought a ton of sandwiches for the cast and crew" he told the confused man, standing up to go backstage and indulge. "Since we're all staying so late and have been working hard"
"Oh, that's nice" Dennis replied. Not wanting to be alone, he followed Trevor backstage and looked over at the sandwich table. He hadn't eaten at all that day and had barely eaten anything the day before (or the day before that, or the day before that, etc., he was beginning to think he may have a problem), and he had to admit that the sight made the constant hunger pains a bit more prominent.
For a moment, he thought about going over and helping himself, but he quickly hit the brakes on that plan before he could indicate too heavily to anyone around that the thought had even crossed his mind. He felt horribly guilty over having that thought. This food was meant for the people in the one-act, not him. He was just an observer. He'd done nothing to earn the right to that food.
Annie noticed him standing there. He had a water bottle in his hand and took a sip of it to distract himself from the burning hunger in his stomach. They knew he hadn't eaten that day. He hardly ever ate, at least not until the evenings, where he would maybe eat a snack or small meal to satiate the hunger pains and then go to bed.
"Do you want a sandwich, Dennis?" they asked, gesturing to the platter of sandwiches. "There's plenty"
Yes! Dennis wanted to say. He wanted to walk over and eat four sandwiches back to back. But, he couldn't. No, even taking one would just be rude and inconsiderate to all the people who'd been working so hard on the one act. He wouldn't be a freeloader like that. He'd never be able to forgive himself for that.
"No, thanks" Dennis replied with a lighthearted smile. "That's for you guys" he added. He quickly turned and walked further down the hall to avoid further conversation on the topic. He didn't want to cause a scene and he didn't want Annie to feel pressured into telling him that it was fine and okay for him to take a sandwich that he had not earned.
He tried not to look too much at the small crowd of his beloved actors and techies as they ate and talked. No, he didn't want to make it too apparent that he envied them for their food. This wasn't about him. He wasn't going to make it about him.
Some techies eventually migrated near him. They had food and he tried not to stare at it, instead shifting gears to distract himself with conversation.
Who cares if his stomach felt like it was tearing itself apart?
Chronology : Pre-TPTGW
Relationships : Annie & Dennis, Trevor & Dennis, Dennis & Stagehands
Headcanons : Dennis has an eating disorder, Nonbinary!Annie
Author's note : His eating disorder here does not stem from body image issues or even a control thing. It mainly stems from trauma and general guilt about not being enough
The Society was preparing a short, one-act play just to share with the community. Dennis had decided not to join in on this one. They didn't need him for the cast size and he was also very focused on his part in A Murder at Haversham Manor, so he just stayed out of it.
He would still attend some of the rehearsals, though, just to see how the one-act was coming along and give the occasional bit of feedback as an observer, which the Society was grateful for because they rarely got that because typically everyone in the Society was in whatever they were working on. Relatively unbiased opinions were hard to come by because of this.
One of these particular rehearsals, about midway through, they took a break and everyone suddenly ran backstage in a hurry, which was strange. Dennis looked over at Trevor, who was directing the one-act (since Chris was busy with A Murder at Haversham Manor), hoping for an explanation.
"Annie bought a ton of sandwiches for the cast and crew" he told the confused man, standing up to go backstage and indulge. "Since we're all staying so late and have been working hard"
"Oh, that's nice" Dennis replied. Not wanting to be alone, he followed Trevor backstage and looked over at the sandwich table. He hadn't eaten at all that day and had barely eaten anything the day before (or the day before that, or the day before that, etc., he was beginning to think he may have a problem), and he had to admit that the sight made the constant hunger pains a bit more prominent.
For a moment, he thought about going over and helping himself, but he quickly hit the brakes on that plan before he could indicate too heavily to anyone around that the thought had even crossed his mind. He felt horribly guilty over having that thought. This food was meant for the people in the one-act, not him. He was just an observer. He'd done nothing to earn the right to that food.
Annie noticed him standing there. He had a water bottle in his hand and took a sip of it to distract himself from the burning hunger in his stomach. They knew he hadn't eaten that day. He hardly ever ate, at least not until the evenings, where he would maybe eat a snack or small meal to satiate the hunger pains and then go to bed.
"Do you want a sandwich, Dennis?" they asked, gesturing to the platter of sandwiches. "There's plenty"
Yes! Dennis wanted to say. He wanted to walk over and eat four sandwiches back to back. But, he couldn't. No, even taking one would just be rude and inconsiderate to all the people who'd been working so hard on the one act. He wouldn't be a freeloader like that. He'd never be able to forgive himself for that.
"No, thanks" Dennis replied with a lighthearted smile. "That's for you guys" he added. He quickly turned and walked further down the hall to avoid further conversation on the topic. He didn't want to cause a scene and he didn't want Annie to feel pressured into telling him that it was fine and okay for him to take a sandwich that he had not earned.
He tried not to look too much at the small crowd of his beloved actors and techies as they ate and talked. No, he didn't want to make it too apparent that he envied them for their food. This wasn't about him. He wasn't going to make it about him.
Some techies eventually migrated near him. They had food and he tried not to stare at it, instead shifting gears to distract himself with conversation.
Who cares if his stomach felt like it was tearing itself apart?